Life With Narcissist - Lessons Learned
Updated: Dec 28, 2020
Life With Narcissist - Lessons Learned. Irene Erin Aslin "Through the Clouds."
Have you ever been in relationship with narcissist - so called energy vampires, ego-centered, abusive personalities? Have you ever found yourself been emotionally abused, when there are no visible scars and bruises but your whole being’s hurt to the core, your energy’s depleted and all you can do is lose your self-esteem, your self-worth submitting more and more to your abuser until he either destroys you or you will awake to the abuse and escape it for good?
The reason I want to talk about this topic is because in my sessions more and more clients, mostly women report being the subject to emotional abuse, either ongoing or in the past but still living with deep emotional trauma that blocks them from living to their full potential, enjoying life.
Before going any further I want to remind I am not a psychologist, or a doctor so that if you feel you need help of professional psychotherapist please by any means go and get it. However, I am familiar with the subject from my own experience as well as from the experience of my clients, I am an intuitive counselor, certified quantum healing hypnosis and past life regression practitioner and a published author of the novel “Through the Clouds” that depicts emotional abuse through the story of a young mother, her falling in love with a handsome, professional man who slowly brainwashes her into believing that he has her best interests at heart. Their relationship begins like a true love story, except for those glimpses of his inner self that are occasionally revealed, but that she dismisses. As their life together unfolds, Mark’s controlling, disturbed nature reveals itself, but even then Lisa mistakes it for the vulnerability and insecurity of an otherwise candid and noble man, believing that her love is the only cure he needs. She devotes her energy and her heart to him, but no matter how hard she tries, it seems she can’t pull off everything. Mark has betrayed her. He has carefully manipulated her until he has taken complete control of her life, leaving Lisa dependent on his will. Lisa must struggle to do the right thing for both herself and her son, and in the process she discovers the strength she has within.
The story of Lisa is the story of many women who have found themselves in emotionally abusive relationships, which is the most common yet subtle form of abuse within relationships. It doesn’t leave any scars or bruises and the abuser is always who appears to love us and who we love - the reason the abuse is often overlooked, but it attacks a person’s self-worth and intelligence, and destroys her soul. Yes, there are signs and red flags throughout but usually they are dismissed as narcissist, energy vampires are very skillful in luring their potential victims by projecting charming, generous, candid personalities together with vulnerability thus evoking in their usually strong confident and empathetic victims love, compassion and desire to help and heal their “broken” abuser. Gradually, with time, the brainwash and manipulation of victims increase but usually by that time the victim is too weak and deep into their abuser’s “web” so that they do not recognize the abuse but rather blame themselves for all the pitfalls in their lives. How the abuser chooses their victim, by what parameters so to speak? Well, abusers are very perceptive, they sense their victim on a very subtle level and they put on all their charm to get the victim into their “web.” Pretty much like any predator in the wild is choosing their next victim, the abuser recognizes his victim by inner sense and then go for it. He’d easily find and skillfully push the every button on her that would force her to explode with energy outbursts – energy that he feeds off of. And when she’s energy depleted for good, he’ll be looking for another victim.
I’ve been asked so many times – why do women stay in such abusive relationships? The short answer is because they are blind to the fact of abuse. They do not know they’ve been abused. It’s like a spell, literally that put on them so that they go through this experience, take lessons and grow and advance. What kind of lessons? To learn to listen to our insight, our Higher Self who is always here with us, talking to us, guiding, protecting, comforting, teaching. To trust and rely on our Higher Self in all aspects of our life so that the “spell,” whatever it is will be broken and we’ll be awaken to the reality of our lives.